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BASIC WEDDING INFO
IMPORTANT INFO ON PLANNING YOUR WEDDING
Setting the Date...Avoid the Crowds and Stampedes: When setting the date of the wedding, be sure to consult a calendar that lists events that take place in the area that surrounds the site. For example, if your church is downtown right near a large stadium, try not to schedule your wedding at a time when everyone (including the bride and groom) will be caught in massive traffic jams or parking problems.
It's all in the timing: If you're still trying to settle on a date, avoid having your wedding on or near a holiday. Flower prices will be more expensive at these times etc.
Date Shifters Save Big: You'll get a better deal on a January wedding than you will on a June wedding. Why? Vendors will be begging for your business, instead of you begging for their time. Save even more by holding your affair on a Friday night instead of a Saturday or Sunday.
BUDGETING: THE SPLIT: With the cost of formal weddings going as high as $20,000 or more, a three-way split with your family, the groom's family, and you and the groom may be the solution. All three parties would then be able to contribute funds towards the total wedding budget.
Each party can pay for their own guests. This is a fair way to distribute the major cost and to minimize awkward feelings about the guest list. One party may want to invite the whole extended family and all of their friends and business associates while another party may feel it necessary to invite only the immediate family. This allows for each party to have a little control over how much money they will spend.
PREPARING YOUR BUDGET: After you decide who is paying for the wedding and agree upon a comfortable figure that all parties can live with, it is time to start charting your budget. Go to the Wedding Budget Planning Program. The expenses are listed with columns for estimated costs, actual costs, your family's expense, the groom's family's expense, your expense, and other expenses.
As you read through this planner and start filling in the information you retrieve, enter the figures in the estimated costs column on the Budget Planning List. This will help you control your spending and mediate between different costs. For example, if you decide to go all out for flowers, you may need to use less bubbly. The Budget Planning program will help you stay within your budget and give you an exact total cost of your wedding for those who are financing your big day.
Consolidating Debts Before the Wedding: Monetary concerns can cause an immense amount of stress when it comes to planning a wedding. Many couples are young, just getting on their feet, and already are juggling debt. This only exacerbates fears of additional wedding debt. While it takes a financial planner to sort out your own personal situation, you might find it helpful and more financially sound to get a loan that covers your wedding budget as well as your current credit card debts. The interest rate on a loan is usually much lower than those you would pay on a credit card. Plus, you're making one payment per month, rather than several. And by pulling your wedding payments from the same fund, you'll find it easier to track your expenses
HOW TO AVOID OVER PAYING: Weddings have come to support a multi-billion dollar industry and they are back in vogue. Here are some tips to help you get the best value and pay the least amount for your own wedding.
KNOW THE MARKET: Research various wedding options to select the style of your wedding and to learn the correct terminology used around the industry. You will want retailers to know they are talking to a woman who knows the market and can't be fooled into buying more than she needs or paying for more than what's necessary.
CALL AROUND: Use your phone book's yellow pages or the World Wide Web to find businesses under each budget item, such as floristry, catering, and photography. Ask about their policies and get a list of references to compare prices for specific items. Make sure you ask the same questions of each vendor to ensure that you are really comparing the same prices. For instance, you don't want to ask one florist about the cost of a bridal bouquet of roses and then ask the next florist about the cost of a bridal bouquet with 20 baby white roses and 10 stephanotis. By calling around you'll get a good idea of the general price ranges and policies used within the industry. Call for references or get recommendations from friends for specific services. Ask about vendors' availability for your particular wedding dates and time frames.
VISIT SHOPS: Make an appointment with the manager before you visit, even if you plan to just look. You will get better service and you'll be using your time wisely. While you meet with the manager, make mental notes about their organization, cleanliness, and customer service.
Ask to see the exact rental equipment they will use for your wedding so you can see the condition of the merchandise you are discussing. You are watching day-to-day-operations, which can give you some insight as to how well the company is managed. You wouldn't want your order to get lost or mixed up with another bride's!
Look through their portfolio and take literature. Ask for a sample contract and list of policies that you can review at home.
Budget Shrinkers: Looking to cut back the ballooning costs of a wedding? Here are some frugal tips to help keep you out of debt. Catering costs can be lowered if you can provide some of your own food and simply have the caterer to serve it. Cut your DJ costs by playing taped background music during dinner and only having a live DJ during the "dance" portion of the reception, if there is one. Honeymoons can wipe out an already weak budget. It may be a practical idea to plan a small, short honeymoon immediately after the wedding, and use the next year to save up money for the big one you've always dreamed about.
ASK FOR DISCOUNTS: Before you make your final decision, ask the retailer about quantity discounts. Don't be embarrassed-this is a business transaction. When you order large quantities, why should you pay the same price as someone who orders only one? It costs less per unit to process larger orders and the retailers get quantity discounts that lower their costs. Sometimes retailers offer "extras" at no cost.
Code Words: Planning together can be both exciting and challenging. Talking to vendors is a big part of it. When you are your partner go to see a vendor, sometimes it helps to establish code words that will help him or her understand what you're thinking without necessarily coming right out and saying it. For example, "It's chilly in here." can mean "I really don't like this. Let's go."
.. Savings: Look .. for accessories. .. auctions or classified ads can be a gold mine when you're looking for great, low-priced accessories like veils, cake cutters, etc.
Are You the Gambling Type? Check .. auctions for some wedding supplies. Used books, veils, engagement rings/wedding bands, dress patterns and dresses, cake knives, toasting glasses, cake toppers, favors, etc. can all be found in abundance, and you name the price!
Bid for Lower Wedding Costs: Looking to save some money on some expensive wedding items? You need not look any further than your computer. Check out some .. auction sites such as eBay or Yahoo (among many others) and see what kind of steals you can get on the dress or veil of your dreams. And don't stop there! Look for cake toppers, crinolines, toasting glasses and cake server sets. You name it, and someone's selling it.
Second Best: You have your heart set on a particular vendor, but they aren't available on the date of your wedding...what do you do? Vendors often are familiar with the work and reliability of their competitors. Ask them to refer you to someone else with a similar style.
CHECK REFERENCES: Ask for a list of references. Reputable companies have lists readily available. By checking with the Better Business Bureau, Consumer Affairs, and/or the Federal Trade Commission you will know if other consumers have filed complaints against the company you are considering. It is worth the few extra minutes it takes to check these companies so you aren't left helplessly standing at the altar.
READ THE CONTRACTS: Once you've decided on the retailer, it's time to sit down and sign contracts. If there isn't a contract, be wary! Contracts protect you and the retailer from miscommunication and responsibilities. If you're working with a friend or a friend of the family, write up a contract yourself listing all the details about the goods and services you expect. Look for:
Dates and times
Details about the items you're ordering
Itemized lists of all goods and services to be provided
Delivery time schedules
Names of people in charge of your wedding
Backup services available
Cancellation policies
Payment schedules
Last dates to make change
A Binding Agreement: The more planning you do and the more vendors you speak with, the more papers and materials you will accumulate. Some of these will be vitally important. Others will not. To help organize, get a binder notebook with pockets and dividers. Label the dividers to denote the different major aspects of your wedding planning (for example, photographer, reception site, attire, etc.) In it, keep all your contracts, receipts, telephone numbers, notes and directions. Keep it up to date at all times, and you will find that it's your best friend. Everything is easy to organize and, as a result, easy to find.
USE CREDIT CARDS: Credit card purchases are the best method of payment to protect consumers. If your bakery drops the cake, you have recourse with your credit card company. First you will have to negotiate terms with the retailer yourself (do it in writing and keep copies). If you can't settle between yourselves, send a letter of explanation with copies of contracts and receipts to the credit card company. They will contact the retailer and let you know your rights. In most cases, if the retailer didn't follow his or her obligations according to the contract, your credit card company will not release funds from your account to the retailer. This gives you the upper hand. The retailer will have to file a claim against you for payment. If you pay in cash or check, the retailer has your money and you have to file a claim against him or her to get a refund.
Charge It For Peace of Mind: Try to pay all your costs with a major credit card. In the event of a problem, you can stop payment with your credit card issuer.
Phone First: It might be bothersome, but it's really worth the time to confirm with EACH of your vendors the details of your wedding. Just a quick, five-minute call to each of them can put your mind at ease and answer any last minute questions.
Don't Just Read the Fine Print, Bring it! Be sure to gather up all your vendor contracts and bring them with you on the day of the wedding. That way, if there are any disputes regarding the agreed-upon services, you can quickly produce your guarantee "in writing." That way, you aren't stuck fighting or missing services on your wedding day. You're much better bringing them and not needing them, than needing them
and not bringing them.
Reception Coordinator: Select a person who is organized and responsible to be the reception organizer. He or she will be in charge of making sure that all the services (DJ, bakery, florist, decorators, and so forth) show up on time and get set up without a hitch. List all the names and numbers of the services on the Wedding Coordinators Checklist in case he or she needs to call them. If small tasks (like placing favors at each place setting) are overlooked, the organizer will know whom to remind. Also give a copy of the Wedding Planner to the coordinator so he or she can help remind you of different activities. He or she can also remind the other helpers of their responsibilities, such as gathering single women, passing out rice, and so on
HIRING A WEDDING CONSULTANT OR COORDINATOR: For those couples who are unsure of how to plan all the extensive details of their wedding or who simply don't have the time and energy to do everything that is needed, hiring a bridal consultant or wedding coordinator may prove useful. Consultants can help guide you through all the intricacies of contracting vendors, staging rehearsals, seeing that proper wedding etiquette is followed, and basically ensuring that no loose ends are left unattended. A consultant can be used just for the beginning or ending arrangements of your wedding or throughout all the planning stages. It's up to you to decide what you want from your wedding and how much you will be able to do yourself
TYPES OF BRIDAL CONSULTANTS: There are several kinds of professional wedding consultants. Here are some of the more prominent ones:
Bridal Consultant: A bridal consultant is a person who works for a particular vendor to assist brides and grooms with their wedding arrangements. For instance, certain florists or photography studios may have bridal consultants on hand to deal specifically with their clients' weddings.
Independent Bridal Consultant: These consultants do not work for a vendor but rather work directly with their clients on all aspects of the wedding.
Wedding Coordinator: A wedding coordinator is hired to actually conduct wedding activities on-site, staging rehearsals and ceremony procedure.
Church Wedding Coordinator: These coordinators work with the staff of a church or religious site to make sure that church rules are followed.
Wedding Day Coordinator: The wedding day coordinator conducts rehearsals and wedding-day activities but does not coordinate initial planning.
INTERVIEW PROSPECTIVE CONSULTANTS: Before hiring a consultant or coordinator, set up interviews to discuss their costs, references, contacts with vendors, and theories about weddings. You could find that a particular bridal consultant's aesthetic sensibility is far different from yours. You may want a traditional wedding with the bridal party all in white; but the coordinator may be ordering red gowns for everyone. Make sure that you can work together with your bridal consultant and that you keep control of your wedding.
COSTS: While the bridal consultant's fee may not be inexpensive, using a consultant can save you money nonetheless. Good consultants and coordinators have contacts and, in some cases, special agreements with vendors to get discounted prices on services. Also, consultants keep up with the latest prices and trends within the wedding industry to get you the best deals.
The Anniversary Dance is a great way to get the married guests, particularly the older guests, into the mood of the party. Once all the married couples are on the dance floor, the DJ might say:
We all know which couple here has been married the shortest amount of time, now lets find the longest married couple. During this next song, I will call out a number in increments of five. Each time I call a number, would every couple married less than that amount of time, please step to the outside of the dance floor.
As the music continues to play, eventually the bride, groom and the oldest married couple are still dancing. The DJ will ask the longest married couple to share their secrets and give words of advise. A big round of applause ends the Anniversary Dance.
Wedding bubbles are the new tradition for weddings. They are used for outside wedding receptions (not recommended for indoor weddings). They are ecologically safe and they are a lot of fun for your guests.
Kissing cards are used like Olympic Scoring cards. Make 8 x 11 cards and number from 1 to 10. Put a set on each table. When the newlyweds kiss, guests hold up their scorecard. The DJ announces the average score.
Instead of glass clinking or ringing the bells to make the wedding couple kiss, have your guest sing a song with the word love in it. For example: Love shack, Love potion ..9, Love Me Tender, etc This game makes for a lot of laughs and group participation. Be sure to coordinate with you DJ.
Change of Pace for the Reception: While reception halls, hotel ballrooms and country clubs continue to be the most popular site for the reception, there's nothing that you can't change that. As long as people can eat, drink, and be merry, it'll work. Depending on the size of your party, you may want to consider a museum or art gallery. How about a lighthouse, historic village or public garden?
GUEST BOOK: After the ceremony, the guests drive to the reception and wait for the festivities to begin. The guest book is usually on a table with a pen near the entrance. Your guest book attendant should encourage guests to sign their names, write their hometowns, and make brief comments. This makes a pleasant memento to look through after the wedding. You also might consider a wishing well.
A Guest book Idea: Have your vows written out in calligraphy and decorated on a large mat or board, and then invite your guests to sign it as your "witnesses." It would look lovely framed in your house for the years to come.
Wedding messages on a poster: Have a professional 16x20 picture of you and your husband matted on a white matt board. The guests will leave special messages on the matt. After the wedding put the matted picture in a 20x30 frame.
Pen Decorations: It might seem like a tiny detail, probably because it is. But one of the most photographed moments of your wedding could be you and your betrothed signing the marriage register. If the pen that you're nervously clutching isn't a keepsake, at least make it nice looking. Get a nice, white pen and perhaps glue a decoration or two onto it with a hot glue gun. But don't forget that when it's all decorated, you still need to be able to write with it.
Engraved in your Heart: Looking for a unique guest book idea? Think about an engraveable tray. Simply provide an engraving tool and the tray at the guest book table along with a sign instructing guests to make their mark. This way you will have a tray to use and display in your home.
The Wedding Wish Time Capsule: Capture some of the thoughts and wishes from your big day. Make a securely locked box with a slot on the top provide pens and some paper. Place a sign next to it encouraging guests to write their thoughts and wishes for you and deposit them in the box, telling them that you will not enjoy them until your tenth wedding anniversary. Put the key in safekeeping until that time comes around, and then enjoy (once again) the spirit of the day.
Engraved in your Heart: Looking for a unique guest book idea? Think about an engraveable tray. Simply provide an engraving tool and the tray at the guest book table along with a sign instructing guests to make their mark. This way you will have a tray to use and display in your home.
RECEIVING LINE: The receiving line is a way for your guests to meet both of your parents and your attendants. You can thank guests for celebrating your wedding with you and, if you remember, you can thank them for their gifts as well. Review the guests' names and gifts received before the wedding. You might want to do this with the groom and both sets of parents. That way parents will feel more comfortable shaking hands and having something to say.
The divorced parent's new spouse may stand in line next to him or her if the stepparent was an integral part of raising you or the groom. If new spouses are friendly with the ex-spouses, they may stand in line.
If divorced parents dislike each other and you're afraid they may create a scene during the receiving line, have one parent be the focal parent during the ceremony and the other during the reception. If one parent is hosting or paying for the ceremony and the other is paying for the reception, let that dictate who is the host of each. If your mother pays for the ceremony, she can give you away and sit in the first pew. Your father will be seated in the third pew. She may even escort you down the aisle and her husband may join you if it is appropriate. If your father hosts the reception, he and his wife head the line for the receiving line and your mother doesn't stand in line.
The decision for the lineup in the receiving line is something that you and the groom will have to decide after considering all the variables. There is no "right" way to do it. Try to be fair to all parties.
I recommend that the bridal party and the bride and groom are introduced as they make their garn entrance to the reception.
TOASTS
Tips for Toasts
Fear of public speaking is one of most common phobias in the world. So here are a few tips for the groom's toast. Keep a few things in mind: everyone there is either family or a friend, and they aren't there to judge you. Make it short and sweet.
Mention how happy you are that your guests could be there to celebrate the event, and that they help to make it what it is. Perhaps thank your new in-laws for making you feel so welcome in their family (if this is indeed the case). Then
Speechwriting Guidelines: Speechwriting can be tough, especially if you're not used to it. So, having a format can help you get started. But remember, no matter how long or how short or even how well it's delivered, it's the thought behind it that counts. Nonetheless, here's an outline that might help:
* A greeting and welcome (especially to out-of-towners)
* Anecdote or small history of friendship about bride/groom
* Advice for the happy couple
* A short poem or quote
* Then a very poignant or touching note finally close it with a warm and loving wish.
Speaking Before Groups: If the thought of addressing your guests as a group makes your knees knock, you're hardly alone. The most common fear among all people is the fear of public speaking. There are several things you can do to allay your fears: first of all, practice, practice, and practice. If you go into this well-versed and confident, autopilot can take over if you start to get flustered. Get a couple close friends together and give it a few whirls in front of them. That way, you're starting small while getting your speech down pat.
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Warm Reception: Another tip for public speaking is to have small notes written down to catch you in case you lose your train of thought. But don't write your speech in its entirety. A reception is a casual forum. A speech or toast should be warm and personal, not read from a script. And when you're nervous and you have a script upon which to rely, you might tend to do so. Also, when you look down at your papers, you're not looking up, making eye contact with the guests or enabling your voice to project across the room.
What's a Stutter Among Friends? These people are your friends and family. They're there because they care about you, not to judge you. You or your spouse have known most of these people for a long time, and they're interested in hearing from you!
The best man traditionally gives the wedding toast. It is usually offered after the receiving line or grand entrance when all the guests are seated and served something to toast with.
Bridal Party Toasts: Why not decorate the wine glasses that will be used at the head table, and send them home with your bridal party as another "thank you for all your hard work." Ribbons, flowers, charms, whatever reflects that person's personality...it will be appreciated!
Offering a toast takes skill and practice. It is often the best man's first toast and he may need some help to prepare it. The best man often rambles on about his relationship with the groom, reminiscing about old times. He may even be a little jealous that you have taken his best buddy away from him. Sometimes the bride's name isn't mentioned until the end of the toast when he wishes you good luck.
The best man should mention how he knows the groom. This should be a small percentage of the toast itself. He should talk about how you both met and how your relationship enhanced your individual lives. He can add funny anecdotes about your courting days. At the end of the toast he raises his glass and toasts you and the groom. The guests all raise their glasses and join in the toast.
Toast your bride... You know what you love about her, so say it (keep it clean, boys!). At this point, you've said all that needs to be said, and anything else you share with your guests is just icing on the cake. When you're all done, start breathing again and drink up!
The Only Time You May Ever Intentionally Break a Glass: Breaking the wine glass together is a time-honored Jewish wedding tradition. If you choose to do this at your wedding, don't use an industrial-strength wine glass. You don't want the groom to either drive a shard of glass through his shoe or fail to break the glass altogether. Sometimes, the best man can substitute a linen-wrapped light bulb for the glass. The bulb gives a satisfying crunch and there's no wasted wine glass.
THE KISS: During the reception guests may, at any time, start clinking their glasses with their spoons. The resonating sounds will multiply as more guests join in the clinking. They want you to kiss the groom. Kiss him before they start breaking glasses.
THE FIRST DANCE: The traditional first dance usually takes place after the meal is served. The DJ Or MC will announce the first dance to clear the floor. It is usually a slow dance or a waltz. Parents and attendants are invited to join about halfway through the first dance. But you may elect to have special dances for them.
Select your music for the first dance ahead of time. It should be a song that makes you both comfortable. It could be "your song" or a song that represents the way you feel about each other. Let the DJ know your selection so that they can practice it. You may want to practice your dance to make sure you are comfortable with the tempo and length.
If you're a product of rock-and-roll and the waltz is a foreign dance to you, consider taking a private dance lesson. Your instructor can choreograph your first dance to the music you select. Your first dance will be so polished that you'll look like Cinderella and her handsome prince waltzing on the ballroom floor!
Dancing with dad: Selecting the music for your wedding dances can be a source of considerable anxiety. Whether you plan to hire a band or have a deejay provide the music, you want to be sure the songs you pick for those important first dances are meaningful yet unique. For many couples, the decision about their first dance as a couple is easy: they simply select "their song." More difficult is selecting the songs for the bride's dance with her father and the groom's dance with his mother.
Ideally, the song selected for each dance reflects the essential character of the relationship between that parent and child. Some very sentimental songs may not be appropriate if the bride does not have a close relationship with her father. For brides who were raised by a stepfather and who will be dancing with him at this special moment, a very traditional father/daughter song might not feel right. On the other hand, an upbeat, fun song may seem inappropriate to a bride who has always been "Daddy's little girl."
In most cases, the dances will be to a ballad or down tempo song. If you and your parents love to rock and roll, don't hesitate to pick something with a livelier beat. You don't want to embarrass your parent with a song he or she isn't prepared to dance to, so you're best off selecting a number that requires nothing more sophisticated that a simple box step.
Here are some song titles, which a bride might wish to consider for that special tribute to her father:
* "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder
* "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle
* "Daddy's Little Girl" by Kippi Brannon
* "Sunrise Sunset" (from "Fiddler on the Roof")
* "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion
* "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers
* "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler
* "My Girl" by The Temptations
* "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra
* "Three Times A Lady" by the Commodores
* "Father's Eyes" by Amy Grant
Depending on your relationship, you might consider something more personal or dramatic. One bride whose father triumphed over illness to walk her down the aisle selected Mariah Carey's "Hero" as a tribute to her courageous father.
The groom's dance with his mother is usually a very touching moment. Many mothers-of-the-groom (and even a few grooms) have been known to shed a tear during this dance.
Popular titles for the groom and his mother to dance to include:
* "A Song for My Son" by Mikki Vierick
* "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong
* "You Decorated My Life" by Kenny Rogers
* "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole, or newer version by Natalie Cole and Nat King Cole
* "In My Life" by The Beatles
* "Blessed" by Elton John
* "I Wish You Love" by Natalie Cole
* "In This Life" by Bette Midler
* "I Am Your Child" by Barry Manilow
Your DJ will undoubtedly have additional suggestions. When you make your selection, consider that in the case of a live band, their performance is likely to be better if they are familiar with the material. Still, you should not hesitate to ask that they prepare the song of your choice. You may be expected to cover the cost of the musical charts.
If a deejay will be providing the song, make sure his or her version of the song is the one you had in mind. Many of these popular titles have been recorded a number of times by different artists. In fact, there may be more than one song with that same title. If it's important to you to have a particular version of the song, be specific with your dj
.
Most of these songs run between 3 and 4 minutes in length. That may not sound like a long time, but in the context of your reception events, it may seem dreadfully long. A 3-4 minute dance of the bride and her father, then another 3-4 minute dance of the groom and his mother may slow the celebratory momentum of the event. Because of this, some brides and grooms opt instead to pick a single song that is "gender neutral" and pay tribute to both the bride's father and the groom's mother, and the two dances are simultaneous. Especially appropriate for this kind of shared tribute are songs like Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable," Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings," and Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me."
Whichever song you choose, be sure it reflects your special relationship with your parent. You may even want to ask your parents if they have a request for a specific song they would like to dance with you. After the big event, consider giving your parent a recording of the song to commemorate that special moment at the reception. It's a tribute they'll treasure through the years.
Your father can cut in and be the second to dance with you. The groom's father is usually the third. and then the best man. The groom then dances with his mother, then your mother, and then your maid of honor. Honor attendants dance together and then the bridesmaids and ushers pair off the way they did for the recessional.
Any dance order is acceptable. You can dance the whole first dance with just the groom. Let people cut in spontaneously if they wish. The DJ should announce the appropriate time for the guests to join in.
THE DOLLAR DANCE: In some societies, the bride and groom dance with the guests during the "dollar dance" ritual. They receive a dollar or check for each dance. The guests line up to dance with the bride or groom. The bride holds the folded dollars in her hand or wears a wrist purse to hold all the money. The guests enjoy dancing with either the bride or groom and the token of their appreciation is just for fun.
SPECIAL EVENT PRESENTED BY ATTENDANTS: Weddings are often enhanced and made more personal when the bridesmaids and ushers put together a special presentation for you and the groom. The guests appreciate the show and everybody becomes more familiar with the whole wedding party.
Typically, the attendants prepare a slide show of you and the groom growing up. The slide show can include your courtship and even the wedding plans.
Some attendants have enlarged baby pictures and other precious photographs displayed on the walls or on easels at the reception site. They can also include wedding photographs of both of your parents and grandparents (only if parents are not divorced).
Attendants can put together a pre-wedding video to share with the guests. This video could show the engagement parties, showers, and bachelor parties, shopping for your gown, selecting dinnerware, and so forth. The video could also be selected footage from home movies. These productions are funny and enjoyable for guests. They also make great mementos.
Add a Little Ethnic Boogie: Why not add some pizzazz to the traditional favorite wedding songs and get that dance floor hopping! Blend in a bit of your ethnic heritage. For instance, if you are Spanish, you might consider adding in some mystic flamenco music. Or, may be a Polka or two for the Polish or German folk celebrating your day.
CAKE CUTTING: The cake-cutting ceremony is one that guests love to watch. You both stand in front of the cake for photographs. Guests take pictures after the DJ/MC announces the cake cutting. You take the cake knife together and slice the first piece of cake slowly. Then the server places the piece on a plate. You give the groom the first bite, and then he gives you a bite. The guests cheer. Cake is next served to both parents and any other special guests. Then the servers pass out slices of cake to the guests.
Sometimes immature guests encourage you to smash the piece of cake into each other's faces. Don't let their childlike behavior motivate you to deface each other on your wedding day. This creates anxiety and hostility and ruins your attire and make-up.
According to the etiquette experts, guests should stay until the cake-cutting ceremony. They can thank the hosts and bid goodbye to you and the groom and leave once the cake has been cut.
Hold Your Bouquet High and Proud! Holding the bouquet a little above or below the waist will actually make you look better. Beware of holding it too low and straightening your arms, especially in your pictures. The idea of having the elbows bent is to create a gap between the waist and the arm. If there's no gap, your waist can end up looking much thicker than it is!
THROWING THE BOUQUET: After the cake cutting ceremony, the mothers and attendants gather all the single women for the bouquet throwing ceremony. The DJ/MC stops the music and makes an announcement to that effect. He calls up all single women to the dance floor. You face away from the group, holding your bouquet while the women wait. Toss the bouquet high in the air so it will fall into somebody's arms. Be careful not to throw it directly at any person to avoid accidents. The person who catches your bouquet, according to superstition, will be the next to marry. If you plan to preserve your bouquet, have the florist make up a smaller version of your bouquet for the toss.
THROWING THE GARTER: After the bouquet toss, the groom takes your garter off your leg. This is usually done right on the dance floor as your guests watch. He should bring a chair out so you can sit during this ceremony. This is the only time your hosiery will show so wear nice hosiery to accent your gown.
After he removes your garter, the ushers gather all the single men. The groom faces away from the group and tosses the garter overhead. The lucky bachelor to catch this garter, just as the woman who catches the bouquet, will be the next to marry.
DECORATING THE GETAWAY CAR: The bridal party and close friends traditionally decorate your getaway car. They usually do this during the reception when you and the groom are busy mingling. When you make your grand and final exit, the guests will wave goodbye as you take off in your conspicuous getaway car.
The attendants used to tie old shoes and cans to the bumper of the car. This just added to the noise and excitement of the getaway. This idea proved to be a problem with littering the streets as shoes and cans fell off. Taping signs saying "Nicole and Jason, Just Married!" have become popular. Tying balloons, flowers, and streamers also has a nice effect. Ask the best man to make sure that the "decorating committee" uses materials that won't harm the body of the car (foams and paint) and won't fall off, creating a driving hazard.
TIME TO LEAVE: Traditionally you are supposed to make a grand exit after the bouquet and garter ceremonies. You change into your going away clothes and thank both sets of parents for their support and good wishes. Your attendants pass out rice in little pouches to throw at you and the groom as you make your final getaway. You and your new husband take off into the sunset as your guests wave goodbye.
Many couples feel that the whole wedding celebration goes by so quickly that they wait to savor every last moment. Taking off after the bouquet and garter ceremonies is too early for them. They want to mingle with their guests and dance until the wee hours of the night. Guests don't have to wait until you leave; proper etiquette indicates that they can leave after the cake-cutting ceremony. The bandleader might make a statement about your staying to enjoy the reception so guests feel more comfortable leaving when they get tired. So stay and enjoy the best party of your life!
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